Consider a situation where you get upset, frustrated or angry. Now think of some-one you know who you have witnessed facing the same situation who is undisturbed by it. It could be bad driving, queue jumping, bad customer service or even being passed over for a promotion. This blog will help you think about how you can reduce stress by investigating your reactions in these siutaitons.
Some people seem to sail through life without getting emotionally affected by the everyday actions of others they encounter, while others even though as affected and as skilled to deal with situation are significantly more impacted.
Our attitude to things and expectations in terms of what is right, has significant impact on the extent to which these things affect us. Taking the example of queue jumping you can have a wide range of opinions about queues including
- Everyone should wait their turn – no exceptions
- Everyone should wait their turn – but not everyone does, although it generally works out evenly
- The person who gets to the front first is first
- A queue is good, but if you can find a back way in even better
Then consider how your reaction to some-one queue jumping could be drastically altered by the opinion you hold on this.
For some a good way to reduce day to day stress is to examine their rules and modify these to support lower levels of negative or high stress reactions. So a useful activity can be to rewrite your rule to
- Everyone should wait their turn – but not everyone does, but to avoid getting stressed I’ll accept/challenge it and not get annoyed by the outcome.
These small steps of making decisions to accept or influence everyday frustrations rather than passively observing and become emotionally affected by them can be good way to reduce stress in your life.
The challenge comes when the rules are more deeply programmed and less obviously apparent in their influence of reactions. Our next set of blogs will investigate our values and the impact the have on our reactions and behaviours.
If you would like to discuss how coaching may help you to better understand and influence your behaviour, contact Paula Duncan on 07572 480 829.